YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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