Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
