a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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