I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
