The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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