Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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