Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
