is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
