I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
