Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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