so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
