You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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