You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
