No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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