hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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