didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
