I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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