I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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