Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
