Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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