If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
