office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Found your dick twin last night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
