I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
