Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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