I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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