Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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