Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
