i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
