there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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