He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
