My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
