I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
