is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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