Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
