Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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