just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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