Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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