What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
