Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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