Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
