the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
