just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
