so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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