Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
