I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
