that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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