I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
