There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize