And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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