I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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