I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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