i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
