Umm I'm too high to move.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
