There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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