I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize