I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
