I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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