He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
