Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
