Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize